Three women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains, however, the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Sophie's. The other two women wonder why Sophie never has her laundry out on the days that it rains.

So one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to Sophie, "Say, how come when it rains, your laundry is never out?"

"Well," says Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Saul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day, and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."

"What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women.

"Honey," says Sophie, "Who on Earth wants to do laundry on a day like that?"

A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting every docker he sees that his guy can make love to 100 women in a row, without pausing, and satisfy them all. Bets are made, and they agree that they'll meet the next day.

The next day, 100 women are lined up along the dock. The guy drops his pants and starts. True to his word, he moves from one to the next, satisfying each one without pausing: 1... 2... 3... on and on he goes: 49... 50... 51... He slows down somewhat: 83... 84... 85... but he is still moving from one to the next, and the women are still satisfied: 97... 98... 99... and before he can get to the last woman, he has a heart attack and dies.

The manager scratches his head in puzzlement and says,

"I don't understand it! It went perfectly well at practice this morning!"

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"

The wedding date was set and the grooms three pals - a carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist - were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.

The carpenter decided that he would saw the slats off their bed.

The electrician figured that wiring the bed with alternating current would give them a few chuckles.

The dentist would not tell what he had done, but wore a sly grin and swore that it would be memorable.

The wedding and reception went as planned. A few days later, each of the groom's three friends received a letter saying the following:

"Dear friends, we did not mind the bed slats being sawed. The electric shock was only a minor setback But I swear to God Almighty, I am going to kill the mother fucker that put Novocain in the K-Y Jelly."

A white woman walks into a sex shop and approaches the counter. She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"

He answers, "$35."

She: "How much for the black one?"

He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."

She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."

She pays him, and off she goes.

A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the black dildo?"

He: "$35."

She: "How much for the white one?"

He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."

She: "Hmmm... I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before..."

She pays him, and off she goes.

About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"

He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."

She: "Hmm... how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"

He: "Well, that's a very special dildo... it'll cost you $165."

She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before..."

She pays him, and off she goes. Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?"

To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and for $165 I sold your thermos!"

The young American girl, on her very first trip to Paris, decided to test the French male's fabled expertise in the art of love-making. On her first date, she asked him what exactly he intended to do with her.

"First," he replied, "I weel remove ze dress. Zen, I will carry you to ze bed. And zen," he added triumphantly, "I will kiss ze navel."

"Big deal!!!" she said. "I've had my navel kissed before hundreds of times."

"Ahhhhh, but of course" shrugged the Frenchman. "But... from ze inside?"